


Las nubes se van pero el sol no regresa

by CommanderHusky



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26260006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderHusky/pseuds/CommanderHusky
Summary: Stan has never been good at handling loss...
Relationships: Eric Cartman/Stan Marsh
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Las nubes se van pero el sol no regresa

It was comfortably late. Not enough to have the regular drunks fighting for another shot when they had clearly had too many hours ago and way past the crowds of young cliques loudly getting buzzed enough to hit the dance clubs for the rest of the night. 

Stan liked this hour because he could have a quiet moment at some table near the end of the bar where he wouldn’t be disturbed. Downing his second glass of the night, Stan knew he should’ve been fast asleep at home already instead of getting wasted on a working night but it was hard not being here when the house felt so painfully empty. This wasn’t just a regular night after all and for the past four years he hadn’t been able to pretend it was.

He signaled to the bar asking for another glass and fumbled with his wallet, his hands shaking just a little bit when he took something out of it which he quickly put away when the waiter came with his booze. Stan directed a shy smile at the woman who probably didn’t even register it and then put the photo on the table, propping it up against the ashtray right in front of him. It wasn’t the first time he did this but he still was self conscious about it.

A tender, warmer and surely more secure smile crossed his lips when looking at the photo and he drank half of the glass in one quick gulp, hissing at the burning on his throat before looking at the brown eyes staring back at him from the glossy paper “Hey… I would ask how you’re doing but I imagine you’re probably having the time of your life resting by some beach of lava or whipping some poor souls around making them work faster” Stan snorted lightly “I bet you’re at least a regional manager down there or something already. Though I hope you’re just taking some time to rest. If anyone deserves that is you”

The black haired man looked around, accosted again by the faint feeling that everyone around would be staring at him for talking to a picture alone on a bar table, but the few other patrons there were just immersed in their own worlds so he looked again at the picture “Kenny insists on keep looking for you every time he goes there but I know it would be almost stupid to expect that. Hell must be a huge place and even someone like you would be difficult to find…”

Stan downed some more of his drink and then rolled his eyes at the photo, almost able to hear a mocking remark coming from it “Yes I know, I’m drinking again… But it’s just for tonight I promise” He frowned a bit “Though this is on you dude. It’s your fault that I can’t go back home because it feels awful to be alone in there and instead I have to come here and drown myself in tequila. You’re the idiot who died in a shootout after all”

The anger which had plagued his words suddenly dawned on Stan and he pinched the bridge of his nose “I’m sorry for that…” His eyes went down to the shiny golden shield on Eric’s chest and then back up to his huge grin, which made Stan smile again “You looked so cute that day. All proud and full of hope when you graduated from the academy…” Stan sighed softly “And when you took me to that fancy greek restaurant and I thought that night was all about how you had been promoted to detective but at the middle of it you just went down on your knee holding that ring…” Stan had to dab at a tear that had began falling from his eye “Fuck Eric… I never thought I could ever love someone as much as I loved you that day”

Finishing his glass Stan signaled for another and quickly went back to the photo, as if staring at it for long enough could make the man in it come back to life “And here I am now… You know there are nights when I can’t even lay on our bed because it fucking hurts too much to be there knowing that you won’t share it with me anymore?” 

Stan buried his face in his hands and tried to preemptively calm himself before he would make a scene. At some point of it his glass had been refilled and so he drank some more “You always said I was too clingy and too cute to be alone” He shook his head huffing “I fucking hate when you’re right… But it’s not because I haven’t tried okay? When it stopped feeling like a betrayal I went out dude. I tried to be with other guys, hell I even tried to be with a girl once…” Stan scoffed and drank some more “But no matter how gorgeous they could be it’s just never the same. I can’t get to feel enough with them to make me keep seeing them… It sounds like a cliche but I don’t give a fuck. I can’t feel with anyone else what I felt with you. What I feel for you Eric” 

Closing his eyes for a moment, Stan almost wished he could be drunk enough to at least delude himself into thinking he could feel his husband’s arms around him, comforting him like they had so many times before “It’s getting scary… Everyone praised how strong I had been after you were gone… Kyle pretty much stalked me for months to make sure I wouldn’t fall back into depression or booze” He grabbed the glass and drank some more “This is an exception okay? But being serious Eric… I’m afraid that all the work we did together. All the progress we achieved in healing from our issues will be undone. I feel like I’m just holding onto the last dregs of sanity that the years with you gave me and I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep going like this… I’ve thought of selling the house because every corner of it reminds me of something we did together. I can’t spend some days alone because I feel so bad that I can’t function at all. It even fucking hurts to jack off sometimes because it should be your hand down there instead of mine...” Stan tried to drink some more but the knot in his throat prevented him from doing so, instead feeling ever more suffocating as grief slowly was taking over him. He grabbed his inhaler and almost used it but in the end Stan managed to take a deep breath concentrating on looking at the face of the man who had brought him pure happiness for so many years before.

“I guess I can’t do this alone anymore” He sighed and grabbed the glass to finish it but decided against it “I want to think that you would say something encouraging right now but knowing you I’m sure you would just tell me stop being a whiny bitch and get some fucking help” Stan half smiled at the photo “Maybe it’s time to go back into therapy huh?” He sighed and grabbed the photo, softly caressing one of Eric’s fat cheeks before stashing it back into his wallet. Stan went to pay for the tab and then called himself a cab, writing a text to Kyle and snickering a bit knowing it would annoy him since it was almost 2am but at least it was sure that the next day he would have his best friend meet him with coffee over which they could discuss about Stan’s plans of recovery.

***Disclaimer: I don't own the South Park characters or any of the brand names mentioned in this story. I don't own any of the songs mentioned on the story or used as chapter titles.


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